A decent Saturday drive

I’ve done a decent number of road trips in my time. The southern most point of Africa, Cape Agulas to my home town in England via Cairo was the most significant, the width of Brazil should get an honorable mention, that was just such fun, Rio to Igazu Falls via Sao Paulo (Rio to Sao Paulo the road is called “The Death Road” – we saw two double decker coaches from the same company upside down at this like chicane in a little valley? Valley is a bit strong – it was only a 50m drop and 200m long, but Brazilian toll roads, oh my that’s some good driving!)

So that was our route, we did the bulk 5:30am to 8:30pm yesterday, that was 1170Km (727m) so I needed to go to Malaysia. That was accomplished. I finally found the border crossing – we went on some Google Maps fairy tale and lost 45 minutes, the last 109km was all mostly 30km/h, half way up a mountain with a 100m plunge to a lake below, & Co stopped counting hairpins at 50 something. The truck glided through at 80-100. Sick skills, my boss called me about something and I’m chatting away to him sliding a pickup truck around 170 degree corners. Fun times.

We get to the border crossing, I stamp out and walk like a mile over a small hill in the blazing heat to the Malay border. Lady is like “Where’s your ‘plane ticket out?” Irish like me get 90 days visa on arrival. But you need proof you can leave. I’m stood in the Car/Motorbike lane, no pedestrian desks are open, but its really quiet, 4 cars max at any one time. _

– Umm I’m leaving soon! “How soon?” – As soon as you give me a stamp in and I’m going over there to stamp out! The penny drops and she asks if I have Thai family and we end up talking food – Malaysians speak excellent English, almost without exception and they all love food. So I schlep back to Thailand. All is fine, until I think in an effort to be helpful the guy starts querying my 90 Day visas previously issued – Why I didn’t extend by 60 Days? I explain using my expired UK passport as a prop I cannot get bank statements without a current UK passport. Well I tried to it seemed to just raise his suspicions. “Where will you stay?’ – In the house I own. I did not look like a property owning member of society to him perhaps?! “How will you get there?” – In my truck that’s just over there! Clearly I didn’t look capable of riding a push bike to this guy! “Its too far” he says. I left just this morning, Sir? Finally – Can I call my wife?

& Co to the rescue. Apparently 300km further back there are offices where you can ‘leave the country” without leaving the country. Plus we followed Google Maps that took us to the Malaysian/Thai border, but in a forest up a hill. No immigration officers just a Google Maps dead end. I don’t think we were the first to make the mistake based on the looks on faces of the family & Co spoke to (with difficulty, different Thai, she’s from “only” 400km away.

Anyway, we head back, and it starts to rain. On the 30km/h mountain pass it gets hmm, annoying. The road is so narrow the camber starts reversing all the time, mid corner. The longest “straight” on the road was about 300m. In 109km, 65 miles. Its just constant corners with mountain on the left and lake plunge on the right. It was mostly fine, the rear tyres need replacing anyway, little bit of extra slip isn’t bad in a relatively long vehicle. But I can see these camber breaks before I hit them, I’m straight wheels across them, or bridging them. The traction control though? POS. I don’t even need to be quicker than the traction control – though I likely am. The computer might be quicker but the hydraulic actuation isn’t quick enough on a Ford Pickup truck. Plus there are ten gears, and they are slow to change or some out of time gear is selected in weird situations, but the driver can see the camber changes and turns with their eyes before they happen, the Traction Control is reactive and can be a pita. Still the previous generation of this Ford Ranger, I know people put concrete paving slabs in the back so tail whippy are they. I had one as a rental and our driver was driving me back from the body repair place (three people have crashed into me – two whilst the truck was parked off the road) Poor bang! It was raining and the thing was making like a fish every time he hit the gas, he asked me if I wanted to drive 😆 Nope, sorry mate!

I get it often, the truck is done out the corner and wheels straight and the computer kicks in had does what I call, “a little squiggle” The rear shimmies as it applies more power to either the left or right wheel. Best thing to do is ignore it, you try and correct it then it can do a second. I scared & Co the first time ever driving, she knows the ‘squiggle” This time the back end tried to go first round a like 190 degree hairpin. I just sighed, there was nothing coming the other way, width ways which is nearly how we went for a moment blocked both lanes and some, I should have hit the gas and flicked it the other way but I just let it slow right down first and went full right lock at like 15-20mph, shook my head, and berated my self for not turning the TC off. The driving equivalent of this 🤷‍♂️ If I had new rear tyres on would have been fine, I’d have turned it off sooner. Anyway 6 hours to & Co’s village dispatched in 4 as soon as we got on the highway, a beautiful sunset taken at speed next to the beach on perfect tar.

We stayed in the chalet I stayed in the night before we got married and picked up her Mum at 5:30am and drove the last 335km home in about three hours. The roads are great when you get off the island, back in the 70’s this one guy ended up getting the contract to build out a massive highway network to link up the country. Proper Autobahn type stuff, and still well maintained, we were mostly on the AH2 the Asian Highway 2.

AH2 – Wikipedia

By some quirk the guy that built all those roads, his two daughters ended up being my commercial landlord in Cape Town. Rich AF, funnily enough!

Anyway, happy to be retired from driving again, though it was huge fun.

Should have put the boot in when the back snapped out, but just sighed instead, like I’m tired, there’s nothing coming the other way, we’ll slide a little. & Co was slightly less sanguine about it, but got it after. I think. 😅

One of our wedding pictures is in there, in Asia you have your wedding photos taken way before the wedding itself. Like years earlier in some cases, I know a guy had three sets taken over the year sand remains blissfully unmarried. They provide the costumes and in the case of that photo take you to a rock quarry for photos! We drove past it last night. & Co is one of of 8 children, the only boy died in a motorbike accident, so Thailand sadly. No one else has photos on the wall in her Mum’s house. 7 daughters, she’s the 7th child but 6th daughter. And the fave obvs. The photos of me in full Thai outfit are pretty cool. Another time.

The last picture is crossing back to Phuket on the bridge this morning. Very glad to be home tonight, Bangkok Tuesday for the next step – a new UK passport.

Nick & Co